After some issues involving sickness, financial worries and the stress of working three jobs while trying to write an album, it is understandable to be significantly behind schedule. That being said, I had to confront some of my thinking to this point. Since before the start of the year, I have been under the assumption that I would be having to become a proficient keyboardist (pianist) while also trying to write the album itself. This has proved to be faulty thinking on my behalf. It may have set my early attempts up for failure.
I was under the mistaken belief that because instruments like saxophone were, at best, unpopular outside of the jazz world, and downright cheesy and cliche at worst. I went forward thinking that I would have to change my entire self, skills and past accomplishments to find success. What resulted was not only feeling like my piano work was suffering, but my ability to write appropriate music was hampered by my lack of skill at an instrument that has only existed in the practice room.
What I have come to understand is that I should embrace my strengths again. I have skills that I can tap into and can only be enhanced through more persistent practice. Much of my work is arranged by computer, so live piano performance shouldn’t be my main concern. The challenge of being a composer is to know what can be done and writing accordingly for instruments you may never even play. This is what separates me from other artists: I have the academic background and foundation and can make use of it where others have to try and learn outside of the resources I had.
So I happily pick up my saxophones, break in a new set of reeds, and ensure that I can better target places where I need the most practice and can improve, and leave the instruments that I am not as proficient upon to either friends that are, or technology. My duty is to make what I feel is right and sing with a voice that I can make my own, even if it does not come from my throat.